Chapter 29
I love our family Christmas party. It’s my favorite night of the whole year. All of us kids shoot fireworks and run around the yard half freezin’ to death. And for some reason it’s like everybody’s suddenly real happy. Aint Nadine hugs on us and she even says that she loves us. Jason said it could have something to do with what’s in the punch bowl. The one us kids ain’t allowed to drink out of.
Aint Nadine’s house ends up packed slap full of people whose voices all mingle up together to make a happy noise. In the background Elvis sings about a blue Christmas, then he picks up the beat and Aint Nadine and Aint Ruby end up doin’ the twist in the livin’ room, right in front of everybody. Aint Nadine lifts her leg so high off the floor she looks like a puppy dog peein’ on the side of a tree! Everybody laughs like crazy and the room glows from the light of pure happy eyes.
I wish it could be Christmas all the time because everybody is so happy and Mama’s face shines because her sisters are all nice to her and givin’ her some attention.
We spent the night with Aint Lyn and it felt just like the old days. The next mornin’ I got outta bed and tiptoed into the livin’ room just to see what the stingy fat man had decided to give me and there under the tree lay a Baby Alive! I snatched her up real quick. Then I pinched my own butt just to make sure I wasn’t dreamin’.
I was smilin’ like crazy when I looked over at Mama and I heard her say thank you as she smiled and hugged my Aint Ruby. That kinda got me to wonderin’ if Aint Ruby had fired the fat man and took his place. Hey, that was fine by me because I was so happy I didn’t care who gave me my presents.
I got a bathrobe, too. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was white with teeny, tiny red polka dots all over it. There was a red velvet ribbon around the collar and it tied around the waist with a red velvet sash. The material felt real puffy and soft. When I put that thing on I felt just like a real live Princess. I know I ain’t supposed to brag but I was some kinda pretty that mornin’.
Mama, Aint Lyn and Aint Ruby was all happy, laughin’ and eatin’ breakfast together at the table. Watchin’ Mama smile made me feel so good on the inside.
Aint Ruby showed me how to mix the food that came with my Baby Alive. I fed her all the green stuff and when I opened her diaper it was filled with green poop. I almost gagged to death cleanin’ that nasty stuff off her butt.
I love oranges and we don’t never get any except at Christmas time. I took mine outta my stockin’ and Aint Lyn showed me how to cut a hole in the top and then stick my candy cane inside the hole and swirl it all around so when you open the orange it has a peppermint flavor.
I was standin’ in front of the heater when Mama walked in from the kitchen sayin’ she smelled something burnin’. I looked over to where Jason and Phil was just to make sure they hadn’t done gone and got so happy they had lit up a cigarette.
Everybody got up then and walked all around the room, sniffin’ the air like puppies, sayin’ they smelled it, too. I didn’t smell nothing but peppermint so I just stayed by the heater where it was nice and warm and sucked on the hole in my orange.
They was all goin’ nuts tryin’ to figure out where the smell was comin’ from when Jason suddenly pointed at me, sayin’ I was the burnin’ one. Mama whirled me around as I looked over my shoulder and even though there wasn’t no fire, my beautiful new bathrobe was meltin’ right before my eyes.
My Aints pulled it off me and kept askin’ if I was okay and if I was burned but I didn’t feel nothing but toasty warm. Mama threw my beautiful new bathrobe in the trash and even though my eyes wanted to, I didn’t even cry. Big girl me, huh?
Later that day we all went up to Aint Nadine’s house. It was way late in the afternoon and her kids still had presents they hadn’t even opened yet. They were stacked way up the wall. Humph! I was thinkin’ about how Santa could kiss my behind but I kept a hold of my Christmas spirit and didn’t say nothing out loud.
Aint Nadine asked me what I got for Christmas and I held out my Baby Alive. I told her how she could eat food just like a real live baby and she got all excited. I guess because she has boy kids who get boy presents.
She told me to feed it so she could see how it eats. She made a big fuss tellin’ everybody how I had a real live baby that eats and I have to admit, I was feelin’ kinda big when I mixed up the food and put some in the Baby’s mouth with Aint Nadine standin’ there waitin’ beside my chair. And then, nothing happened. Aint Nadine asked what was wrong. I told her she wouldn’t eat. She tried to do it. Mama tried and Aint Ruby tried and still, nothing. Aint Ruby even checked the batteries but the dumb doll still wouldn’t move her mouth and eat.
I was already startin’ to feel awful. First the bathrobe, then the baby doll. I was hopin’ the peppermint orange wasn’t gonna try to give me diarrhea when my Aint Nadine said that I might as well change my Baby Alive’s name to Baby Dead. She kept tellin’ me that she wasn’t any good anymore so I just might as well flush her down the toilet because she was Baby Dead now. She kept on and on and on so that by the time we left to drive home, I was plumb sick with a headache.
Aint Lyn did ask Mama to let us kids come back and stay for a visit durin’ the summer and Mama said, okay. It’s kinda weird because we used to live in Clover and we would go stay in Marietta for a summer visit. And now we live in Marietta and we’re gonna go stay in Clover. It feels like life got all mixed up and turned butt
backwards.
