Chapter 26
Our lives got real bad after that. Mama was sad for so long. There was days when she didn’t even wanna get out of the bed. She missed a lot of work and that was a big problem since she barely made enough money to pay all the bills anyways. She would just lay on the couch or the bed and cry for what seemed like forever.
Sometimes she would talk about killin’ herself and then she would go in the bathroom, lock the door and me and my brothers would gather around the knob, cryin’ and beggin’ her to not leave us.
I think about Bruce Dean a lot. I wish he had never walked into her work place. Why did he do that to us? He made everything so much worse. The only thing in the whole world worse than Mama’s heavy breathin’, is Mama’s cryin’. It hurts so bad it makes me want to die.
I keep wonderin’ what made him change his mind so fast. Maybe I smiled too much when he looked at me. It might be that he thinks I’m just plain weird. He had to realize that my own daddy don’t want me and figured out that something is wrong inside me. Mama is forever sayin’ we are worthless. Maybe he thinks so, too. Mama says dead would be better than sufferin’ like this. I think she might be right.
