Chapter 15
Our school pictures came back the other day and we got to bring home the proofs. The teacher told us to have our parents pick out the ones they want, draw a circle around ‘em and put some money in the envelope.
When I gave mine to Mama she said she has a hard enough time just puttin’ food on the table so she ain’t about to buy my ugly pictures. She laughed and said that it looked like Aint Nadine had set a bowl on my head when she cut all my hair off. See, I told you it was ugly.
My teacher said the proofs had to be brought back today or else our parents would have to pay for ‘em. When Mama got to lookin’ for mine and Phil’s last night she couldn’t find ‘em no where in the bedroom.
Me and Phil was watchin’ television when she started screamin’ and throwin’ stuff around the bedroom and yellin’ for us to come there. She told us she couldn’t find ‘em anywhere so we better get busy and find ‘em our own selves. Then she slammed the bedroom door closed behind her.
Phil got down on his hands and knees, diggin’ through all the clothes, toys, and trash that covered the floor. Usin’ my foot to clear out a spot, I sat down too but I didn’t know where to start. I tried to think back to the last time I had seen those butt ugly pictures but I couldn’t remember. Stupid brain!
I had been sittin’ there for a while, arms wrapped tight around my knees, teeth gnawin’ on my bottom lip. My brain was workin’ hard thinkin’ about where to look first when Mama started screamin’ through the door sayin’, you better find ‘em and find ‘em fast! So I just grabbed up armfuls of dirty clothes, throwin’ ‘em on the bed.
Phil suddenly jumped up, all happy like, holdin’ his pictures in his hand like a prize. He ran outta the room yellin’, I found it I found it! And I felt like smackin’ him sideways. I knew Mama would come for me soon so I started grabbin’ up stuff faster. I figured if I just started on one side of the room and picked up everything in front of me then I would have to find those pictures somewhere.
The radio was on Mama’s favorite country station and just then a song by Freddie Fender came on and he was singin’ about bein’ there before the next tear drop falls and I sat straight up, wiped my eyes and said a great big thank you to God because I just knew that song had to be for me because I was cryin! I felt for sure that God was goin’ to help me find those pictures and save my backside all at the same time so there I was grinnin’ like a happy dum-dum and singin’ right along with Freddy. I was so happy I didn’t even hear the door open.
Have you found ‘em yet? Mama asked, closin’ the door behind her.
I was thinkin’ that she came back too soon. God hadn’t had time to help me yet! And I got scared and started cryin’. She screamed at me for cryin’ and I was tryin’ to stop, honest I was. I was wipin’ my face with my hands and tryin’ to show her that I wasn’t gonna cry no more when she swooped down on me like a mad mama bird and began to smack my brains around. I put my hands up, coverin’ my head, feelin’ the sharp sting of her anger up and down my arms. Then she grabbed me by my arm and dragged me over to the bed, slingin’ me on top of it. She kneeled down in front of me. I tried to lower my eyes because it hurt so bad to see her eyes but she squeezed my face hard in her hand and pointin’ her finger at my nose she said, I’m gonna give you twenty minutes to find those pictures!
I was cryin’ and she screamed into my face, stop that d— cryin’ stupid, and she grabbed my shoulders and shook me so hard that inside my head all I could think was that somebody should take a great big rock and smash my brain into gooey little brain pieces because I don’t know how to stop bein’ stupid by myself.
Twenty minutes and that’s it! She said. When I come back in this room they better be in your little hands or I’m gonna pull that dress up, and wear you’re a– out!
Then she stood up, walked to the door and slammed it behind her as my heart split open and ran out my eyes. Dear God, it’s me, Wanda who’s supposed to be Rhonda. I hate you back.
