Chapter 9
My baby bird died. Stupid bird. I went back to our room, flopped across the bed and looked down inside the box all ready to sing her a happy baby song and there she lay, just dead. Stupid no sound cryin’ bird. I hated that bird anyways, just cryin’ all the time and gettin’ on my last nerve. I don’t need any stupid, no flyin’, no sound cryin’ bird anyways. I have a new friend who will never leave me.
It’s my best friend in the whole world. And my friend really does like me, you know. Not like Karen, this girl in my class who I thought was my friend. She was talkin’ to Rosemary and when I walked up to ‘em Karen said to me, your breath stinks! Then she covered her nose with her hand and they both started laughin’ at me. I don’t care though, really I don’t. I don’t need nobody to make me cry.
My friend likes talkin’ to me. We sit outside on the back steps and talk all the time. Mama laughed and told everybody that I have myself an imagination friend but it’s not true because I can hear that voice comin’ into my ears loud and clear. My friend tells me that I’m loved and that everything is gonna be okay and that makes me feel better and helps me stop cryin’ so much.
Lately I keep dreamin’ that I’m flyin’ across the sky like a baby bird and it feels so good with the air in my hair that I don’t never wanna wake up. Sometimes though, I can see hands reachin’ up and I can feel Mama’s hands almost gettin’ a hold of me to pull me down but my friend tells me to hold my head up and push my shoulders back and that will make me fly higher and it always works and I fly so high nobody can snatch me down. Me and my friend have adventures together just like Jason and Phil do.
Jason and Phil go everywhere and get in all kinds of trouble together. One time Mama found out that they was sneakin’ around smokin’ her cigarettes and she made ‘em sit on the couch in front of her and they had to smoke one right after another, right in front of her.
I was wonderin’ what kinda punishment that was supposed to be because seein’ ‘em smokin’ cigarettes was what had made her dog mad in the first place, but then she went in the kitchen and made ‘em each a big tall glass of water mixed with heapin’ spoonfuls of sugar. I was thinkin’ it might be pretty tasty ‘til she made ‘em eat some of the cigarettes and use the water to wash ‘em down. Phil cried a lot and begged Mama to please let him stop but she just kept right on smilin’ and made him eat some more.
Then she went to the telephone and called my Uncle Bill, askin’ him to take the boys for a ride in the back of his truck. I figured it must have been one heck of a ride because Phil said he went real fast, turnin’ a lotta curves, ‘til they were both hangin’ over the side of the truck, guts flowin’ outta their mouths like a waterfall turned nasty.
That must have been what Mama wanted to happen though, because she seemed real happy when she told ‘em both that they better not ever smoke cigarettes again, as she lit up one of her own.
Mama later said that she had to teach ‘em both a lesson. I was thinkin’ about how I would much rather learn all my lessons at school, but I didn’t say nothing out loud.
Jason hates goin’ to school. He skips all the time and Mama screams and smacks on him for it. He don’t never talk about why he hates it so much. Maybe the other kids pick on him because he wears glasses.
I like goin’ to school. Nobody yells or smacks on me and when other kids make fun of me because my pants are too short or because my hairs cut crooked I just act like I don’t hear ‘em even though it does make my face burn and I just wanna shrink up and hide.
One time me, Jason and Phil walked to the ballpark to play on the swings and there was some older kids there Jason’s age and they all started callin’ him names and Jason just turned around and walked back towards home. Me and Phil was yellin’ for him to come back but he wouldn’t.
Then one of the boys asked Phil his name and when he told him that boy started laughin’ and said, Phil the seal took a pill and s— all over Bunker Hill. (I know that is a bad word but that is the bad word he said and I’m just tellin’ you because it’s the truth, that’s all)
Anyways, poor Phil was so upset he started cryin’ and took off to catch up with Jason. And then of course I left too because I wasn’t gonna stay up there with all those mean kids all by myself. They started yellin’ ugly words at me as I ran down the field to catch up with my brothers.
I don’t know why people like to be so mean but when I get to Heaven that is the first thing I’m gonna ask Jesus.
When we got home Phil told Mama what those mean kids had said and he asked her if he could have his name changed but Mama said, no. Then Phil got mad and asked her why she had to go and name him Phil in the first place. Well then Mama started sayin’ Phil the seal took a pill and s— all over Bunker Hill. She kept sayin’ it over and over ‘til Phil started cryin’ again.
See, Mama told him, it’s just words and words don’t mean nothing. When people pick on you just say to ‘em, sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.
Phil didn’t stop cryin’ though, and I know why. It’s because when words are about you, they mean everything.
